Hunting Lawyers

In light of the recent unfortunate events concerning the VicePresident,a new bill has been introduced in the Montana legislature as follows:

Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys

370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting licensemay also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport(non-commercial) purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The useof United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.03 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health departmentinspection for rabies, and vermin.

370.04 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle isprohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse.If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the deadattorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle shouldproceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

370.05 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a powerboat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREESCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW,Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.09 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to havea license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.10 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter,drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie,physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of huntingattorneys.

370.11 Bag and Possession Limits per day: Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2; Two-faced tortfeasors, 1; Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3; Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2; Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.

370.12 Honest attorneys shall be protected under the Endangered SpeciesAct .

(Thanks Mark)