Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Hey! I know this guy!

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him."

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:

  • anti-social personality disorders

  • delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones

  • extreme cognitive dissonance

  • inability to incorporate new information

  • pronounced xenophobia and paranoia

  • inability to accept responsibility for own actions

  • cowardice masked by misplaced bravado

  • uncontrolled facial smirking

  • ignorance of geography and history

  • tendencies towards evangelical theocracy

  • categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.






(Thanks Lauren)

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