Top Ten Signs Bush Is Drinking Again
10. "Begins every speech with, 'Dude, I'm so hungover'"
9. "Welcomed John Roberts with awkward, lingering hug"
8. "During recent speech, coughed up a swizzle stick"
7. "Now spells his name 'B-U-S-C-H'"
6. "Appointed Michael Brown head of Zima"
5. "He's been pronouncing words correctly"
4. "Next Supreme Court nominee: Johnny Walker Black"
3. "He's been asking Clinton for 'That hefty girl's telephone number'"
2. "Even the twins are urging him to slow down"
1. "Called a cabinet meeting to discuss 'Laura's dynamite ass'"

David Letterman