Those pesky traffic stops....

The following is a list of the top 15 Police Comments that were

reportedly taken off of actual police car videos around the country:

15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch

out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a

worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't

know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can

write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think

it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that

again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are

drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go

to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster

oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No, Sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but

now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of

yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?...You're right, we

don't...Sign here.

Things that you shouldn't say to a Cop:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 145 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no

other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been

drinking?", you probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed,

have you been eating doughnuts?"


(thanks Brother Bill and Lamar)